|It isn't always possible to feel innocent. It's always possible to become innocent.|
Unfortunately the term Christian comes with a lot of baggage, both my own and other peoples'. To most people to tell them that you're a Christian is to tell them that you ascribe to particular patterns of behaviour and beliefs, some of them ridiculous and some of them awful. I no longer want to be associated in any way with the horror perpetrated in the name of Christianity.
The bottom line is that everyone who identifies as having faith has their own religion. Their own particular way of believing based on their own experiences and personality. So even if you think you're pretty orthodox your faith is personal.
So I believe what I want and I call it what I want. I don't know what I call it but I don't think calling it Christian any more is helpful to me, and whatever I believe it's so far from what most people call Christianity that I don't think it's helpful to other people either.
I still find transcendent experience in the worship of The Christ. Christian worship, at its best, is a wild and abandoned adoration of love. A revering of love as sacred and holy. A recognition that the highest love is sacrificial, a life laid down in the pursuit of transcendent beauty that can be found anywhere and in anyone if you know how to look.
I'm still fond of saying that the only part of the bible anyone really needs, and honestly the world might be a better place if this was all we had, is to be found in the first letter of John. Chapter four and verses 7-9 or something like that.
Dear children, let us love one another for love comes from God. Everyone who loves knows God, and is born of God, because God is love.So wherever love is at work that's God at work. Because God is love. Love is my God. I love love, I adore love. Worth living for and worth dying for and nothing else comes close. And love *is* everywhere, so God is everywhere. Hidden in plain sight.
So, your mission and my mission, should we choose to accept it, is to help people believe in love again. To have faith in love. I believe with all my heart that love heals, love saves, love transforms and love wins. People lose hope, and lost hope makes people bitter and hard. Demonstrate that love is real, that love works. No point in talking about it, that counts for nothing. It doesn't even matter what you believe. What matters is how much you love. Jesus even said as much, according to the gospels.
Matthew 25, verse 34 on. Look how little is has to do with what you believe or think you believe.
34“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. 36I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’I've removed the word "Christian" from most of my public profiles. Having identified as a Christian for almost all of my life that feels like a big deal.
37“Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? 39When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’
40“And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’
41“Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, ‘Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons.g 42For I was hungry, and you didn’t feed me. I was thirsty, and you didn’t give me a drink. 43I was a stranger, and you didn’t invite me into your home. I was naked, and you didn’t give me clothing. I was sick and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’
44“Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’
45“And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’
Despite all the problems of my last church they taught me something beyond value. The understanding that the teaching of Christ is that the kingdom of heaven is now and that it's found in shared lives. That's still good news and it's still worth living for.
Just over a year ago I wrote the following about my faith and how I see God. I still believe.
""Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die" is a conflation of two biblical sayings, Ecclesiastes 8:15, ‘Then I commended mirth, because a man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry’, and Isaiah 22:13, ‘Let us eat and drink; for to morrow we shall die.’"