The Evil Priestess and the Temple to Isis in Battersea

To some the name Isis is a terror. To me she is divine
beauty wrapped in an Egyptian robe


This is the true story of the time I rescued the slave husband of a celebrity high priestess of a temple to the Goddess Isis in Battersea.

After the first Ayahuasca retreat I joined the secret Facebook group for "the tribe". Making occasional posts was a third rate ex-celebrity. One of the names she went by was Mary. She also calls herself Mother Gaia, which I consider a blasphemy, and she doesn't believe in global warming. She would regularly post in the group and I would mock and berate her. I warned people she was as spiritual as a twig, that she was deceived and would deceive people for personal gain and so on.

Before the second retreat I let the tribe know that I was coming. On the retreat was a slender Romanian gentleman, his first time at the retreat but not his first psychedelic adventure. Far from it as it would turn out. His tolerance was so high he took twice the dose of anyone else. We shared a passion for fragrances, and my wife is Romanian, so we bonded and got on really well. Apparently he worked, at least some of the time, at a temple that he and his wife ran.

We made friends. After the retreat he changed his profile to show that Mary was his wife. She'd sent him to suss me out and we'd made friends. He posted me a selection of perfume samples as a gift. Chatting on Facebook it became obvious that he really wasn't happy. He was basically trapped by Mary with very little money of his own and he had nowhere else to go. He no longer thinks they're in love, the bubble has burst. She's a dangerous narcissist and he's a dreamer, the only wonder is it lasted so long.

I was in London staying over with a friend for a Bufo Alvarius ceremony, Bufo Alvarius is an incredibly intense psychedelic, it only lasts about 15 minutes and it's very expensive. I took the opportunity to book a sound and light treatment with my Romanian friend.

So I visited their clinic in Battersea. Well, really Mary's clinic. It's in Battersea and about for storeys high, which means it's worth an absolute fortune. It's was a shrewd settlement from her last marriage. She may be an unpleasant narcissist but she's not dumb. So I put together some perfumes to give to Vlad and book an appointment. Which means Mary knows I'm coming to visit.

I arrive at the very posh London clinic and Mary is at the front desk, wearing all white. I tell Mary her my name and that I have an appointment. We make pleasant small talk and she's nice to me. She tells me that she is a recently awakened Egyptian shaman. This is nuts, but it's not actually blasphemous so I let it pass. I tell her I love the Egyptian gods and that Isis is my idealised form of the goddess. Mary asks if I would like to see her temple, so I agree. It's a temple to the Goddess Isis and actually pretty impressive. Mary takes me upstairs and Florin gives me the light and sound treatment. It's really relaxing but totally not worth the money they charge.

As well as giving the treatments Mary had Florin acting as the priest in her temple. They buy Changa (a smokeable psychedelic, the active ingredient is DMT, super intense but short lived) and charge rich women from Battersea about £100 for a mystical experience "journeying" in the temple whilst Maria tells them she is mother Gaia. Very disturbing!

Florin wants out and the long story short is that I found him a place to stay with my friend In London (Nina, the one I was staying with) and he escaped. He's now back in Romania. Mary was furious and smeared him in the press for stealing from him.

So that's how I rescued the slave husband of an evil priestess to the Goddess Isis from a temple in Battersea...

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