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Unpolished musings

The philosophy, stories, poetry, social commentary, religion and Satanism of Michael Foord a Jewish, British, socialist, feminist, witch, middle aged, middle class, pansexual, ex-christian, ex-homeless, ex-prisoner, GenX, neurodiverse, cult survivor, body positive, sex positive, switch, gamer, raver, hippie, polyamarous, psychonaut, white, cis, mostly male identifying geek. A technomancer, an ordained Dudeist priest and a Rational Theistic Luciferian.

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May 22, 2015

This is a beautiful song of gratitude to God. Produced by the Jesus Army. This video won the Best Christian Music Video award at the UK Christian Film Festival Awards (2015).

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Tainted Love?

November 24, 2015

A Christian understanding of homosexuality is a topic I've shied away from, although I obliquely address it in The Liberal Agenda , because it can be so divisive. That it is a divisive and difficult topic makes me deeply sad. A refusal to face a topic because it is difficult could reasonably be called cowardice, so here we are. People love to know the rules don't they. It's a fact of human nature that we want to be told what we're allowed to do and what we're not allowed to do. This is "the law" and the old testament of the bible is largely the story of humanity understanding God's nature and how to be right with God through a very detailed set of rules. In Jesus' time there was a group of religious people who particularly loved the rules. Read Matthew 23 for some of the choice things Jesus had to say to these men, the Pharisees: Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in

Luciferianism, Demonolatory and the Black Flame

September 09, 2020

This is the second article in a series on Rational Theistic Luciferianism, for the other articles on Satanism see (more recent first): Chaos Magick & Tradition An Invocation of Lucifer & Truth and Lies Magick, Morality and Addressing the Spiritual The Occult Mind, Neural Nets and the Call of the Gods Practical Thelema Philosophical Foundations A Practise and the Cults, Black Magick, Lucifer and Moloch A Satanic Manifesto: My Personal Satanism Rational Theistic Luciferianism is both an occult practise and a meta-religion. It's a blueprint for your own personal Luciferian religion, philosophy or occult practise. You're more than welcome to use any of the ideas and symbols here for your own spiritual journey, or to adopt Rational Theistic Luciferianism directly. I'm a Satanist, and specifically I'm a Rational Theistic Luciferian. A theistic approach to the individualistic philosophy and belief frameworks of Satanism is a rational choice because it is more powerful

The Power to Curse or to Bless: On Swear Words

January 18, 2017

The most important thing is to find out what is the most important thing. To those of you who dislike swearing, it is perhaps worth considering how much power you are willing to let certain words have over you. If I can shock you, interrupt your train of thought viscerally and change your mindset with a word, merely because you have chosen and trained yourself to be offended by that word then you give me a power over you that I don't deserve. When understood, it is therefore possible to express something with great force, in a way that you can be certain will remain with the recipient for some time, by the careful use of specific words. I promise to mostly use that power judiciously and in a considered manner, but the only person who can remove that power is you; and to do that you have to choose not to be offended. If you have any respect for my intelligence it is worth considering that when I curse it is not because I am out of control, but maybe because I understand wha

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Tainted Love?

November 24, 2015

A Christian understanding of homosexuality is a topic I've shied away from, although I obliquely address it in The Liberal Agenda , because it can be so divisive. That it is a divisive and difficult topic makes me deeply sad. A refusal to face a topic because it is difficult could reasonably be called cowardice, so here we are. People love to know the rules don't they. It's a fact of human nature that we want to be told what we're allowed to do and what we're not allowed to do. This is "the law" and the old testament of the bible is largely the story of humanity understanding God's nature and how to be right with God through a very detailed set of rules. In Jesus' time there was a group of religious people who particularly loved the rules. Read Matthew 23 for some of the choice things Jesus had to say to these men, the Pharisees: Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in

The Power to Curse or to Bless: On Swear Words

January 18, 2017

The most important thing is to find out what is the most important thing. To those of you who dislike swearing, it is perhaps worth considering how much power you are willing to let certain words have over you. If I can shock you, interrupt your train of thought viscerally and change your mindset with a word, merely because you have chosen and trained yourself to be offended by that word then you give me a power over you that I don't deserve. When understood, it is therefore possible to express something with great force, in a way that you can be certain will remain with the recipient for some time, by the careful use of specific words. I promise to mostly use that power judiciously and in a considered manner, but the only person who can remove that power is you; and to do that you have to choose not to be offended. If you have any respect for my intelligence it is worth considering that when I curse it is not because I am out of control, but maybe because I understand wha

Grieving my Father

March 22, 2021

On the morning of the 2nd of March 2021 my father, Antony George Foord, died at home of cancer. Prostate cancer which had spread to his bones and chest. He was due to be moved to a nursing home that morning. I went to see him the night before and told him I loved him and that I didn't want to say goodbye and that I'd miss him. He was lucid but couldn't speak. Such a lot is now done and gone. I remember family holidays in Wales where the sun shone and we played on golden beaches and raced snails with strangers on the campsite. I remember a holiday in Wales where it rained ever day and we huddled in the caravan and a hurricane blew the awning away. I remember his love for engineering and visiting the Dinorwig power station inside a mountain. I remember fatherly love and idolising him for most of my life. But I also remember being so unhappy in his house and under his rule, with no way out, so desperate to escape. I remember him throwing me out of the family home and then ch

Tales from the Past: Spiritual Mastery, Psychotherapy, Meditation and Worship

June 06, 2020

The black hoods of The Cult of Joshua the Christ I had more money than I'd ever had before when I went to university. There were no tuition fees then and I got a student loan and a full grant because my dad had recently gone full time self employed and founded 4-sight consulting. Rent for digs at Corpus Christi College Cambridge were very reasonably priced although I never did get that room at old court. The new court is only 400 years old, the old court is 600 years old and is exquisite. The oldest courtyard in Cambridge I fell in love at first sight, past the alley with the bins. In my first year I had a room off an alley off of new court. In my second year I had a room at Newnham court, where I went mad. Going mad was literally the worst thing I could possibly imagine. That's how it worked. That was my madness. And I hated myself for it. That part made perfect sense, for as far as I could tell everyone else hated me too. So now I always imagine that the best might be true,

Luciferianism, Demonolatory and the Black Flame

September 09, 2020

This is the second article in a series on Rational Theistic Luciferianism, for the other articles on Satanism see (more recent first): Chaos Magick & Tradition An Invocation of Lucifer & Truth and Lies Magick, Morality and Addressing the Spiritual The Occult Mind, Neural Nets and the Call of the Gods Practical Thelema Philosophical Foundations A Practise and the Cults, Black Magick, Lucifer and Moloch A Satanic Manifesto: My Personal Satanism Rational Theistic Luciferianism is both an occult practise and a meta-religion. It's a blueprint for your own personal Luciferian religion, philosophy or occult practise. You're more than welcome to use any of the ideas and symbols here for your own spiritual journey, or to adopt Rational Theistic Luciferianism directly. I'm a Satanist, and specifically I'm a Rational Theistic Luciferian. A theistic approach to the individualistic philosophy and belief frameworks of Satanism is a rational choice because it is more powerful

Crossing the Soul Gap: a Rational Faith

June 05, 2015

We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves. ... By its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude. Sensations, feelings, insights, fancies—all these are private and, except through symbols and at second hand, incommunicable. ... From family to nation, every human group is a society of island universes. -- Aldous Huxley No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. -- John Donne In I was brought up I describe my Christian up-bringing and my journey back to faith via Cambridge university, atheism, Buddhism, homelessness and Christian community. In Pursuing Faith this came full circle with me having to reconcile my faith to how I saw the world and spirituality without faith. This article is a further exploration of how I am pursuing a genuine and deeper spirituality. My faith is a rational pursuit. It has to be.

Objective Value in Art

July 26, 2016

" Art is like a joke: if you have to explain it then it sucks " I recently visited the Guggenheim museum in Bilbao and got embroiled in a conversation on the value of art, and in particular the value of modern art. This is an age old question, and more specifically this question: does art have (can art have) objective value, or is its value purely subjective? Surely the value of art resides in the effect (the affect) it has on the observer, so the value of art is by very nature a subjective thing. Art has value if it produces a worthwhile affect (including whether or not we like it), if it moves (or resonates) emotionally with the viewer, if it stimulates the viewer to intellectual thought, or if the art provides some commentary on society, humanity or the world around us (does the art "speak to us"). Modern art attempts to do this in abstraction, by removing recognisable representation of the world it can (potentially) speak to a deeper part of us than merel

A Varied Life

May 19, 2016

I've been homeless, in prison, at Cambridge university, worked at a London startup, been an atheist, lived in Christian community, travelled, written a book . I've taken an extraordinary amount of drugs to the point of madness. I've learned Tai Chi and meditation from a Buddhist community. Spent nearly a year in Romania living with Romanians. I taught myself to program. I've spoken to an audience of thousands at conferences and been a keynote speaker in India and New Zealand. I've written code used by millions of software developers. A varied life and I'm not done yet. And I'm still (more and more) convinced that the only thing worth a damn, the only thing to live for (more important than believing the right things) is to love. But love fiercely.

Patriarchy and Parenting

March 22, 2021

Patriarchy Can we fix the patriarchy and the problems of the patriarchy just by getting men to change? Why does our society produce violent men, how are predators able to hide in society, and why do we create so many desperate men who can't relate to women or really even other men? The way men and women relate to each other is part of that. The patriarchy is inculcated in everyone from birth and lives in all of us. It's what grew out of a society ruled by violence with men tending to be physically stronger than women. A lot of the awfulness is the product of the separation and lack of understanding between men and women. The product of evil/false gender roles we were all taught, especially in the formative years which sets the pattern for adulthood. For example, why do men send unsolicited dick pics by the thousand when I've never heard of a woman be anything other than revulsed by them? I had no idea, couldn't fathom it. Appalling sexual harassment but so common and

The Fire, The River and a Sword

November 09, 2015

Several years ago I decided that I wasn't going to be a Christian and sing flowery songs of worship about having rivers of living water flowing out of my soul if I didn't actually experience it. If I give my life to this faith, if I'm going to believe that it's true, then I'm going to prove it true in my life. What I sing of, what I declare, what I say I believe, I will experience and understand. A big part of my journey over recent years has been meditating. I meditate for an hour a day . It's an exercise of the soul to develop focus and cultivate mental strength. Along with these qualities I've found it bringing enormous healing to my soul, a topic I have waiting in the wings to write about. As well as meditating for an hour a day I pray for two to three hours a day. This wasn't something I intended to do, it just sort of grew out of exercising and using the time to reach out to God with body, soul and spirit. Trying to push everything within me

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